Writing WrAP-Up Reflection

           My writing in English this year was less than what I hoped for.  I’m not sure if I expected to just get an A+ on every paper, but I certainly was not anticipating some of the negative feedback that I received. The causes of this dilemma are my own fault. My writing throughout the year has been shown to be undeveloped and not up to par with what it should be at this grade level. I believe I learned a thing or two this year by receiving heavy constructive criticism. Each time I turned in a paper I was thinking, “Man, I wrote well on this! This is an A paper for sure!” And each time, I was wrong. I plan to use the feedback I received to help me with my writing in the future.

            One of our first projects as a class was writing a literacy narrative essay. Going into this, I had no idea what a literacy narrative was and was diffident if I could even complete it. I thought I did poorly in my writing as I turned it in even though all I acquired from my peers was positive comments on it. As it turns out, that ended up being my best paper. I couldn’t help but wonder why this paper, the one that I assumed was deficient, was favorable in the eyes of my teacher. As we wrote other papers, I compared them with the literacy narrative and noticed that it was the only paper that I included original material in; the only essay I wrote that subsumed of developed writing, good sentence fluency, and near-perfect conventions.

            Another essay we completed, a profile, also had me uncertain, as well as every other paper we completed. I personally thought that I stuck to the assignment well, had good organization, and decent ideas. On this essay, I don’t believe we exchanged it with peers for assessment. The feedback I attained for this essay went along with my own. I thought the voice was too technical and unengaged with the reader. My teacher agreed. I believe if I had a chance to revise the profile I could make the voice more fluent and less drab-sounding than I did before. Other feedback I received on the profile included grammatical errors and things that were not supposed to be done in a profile such as inferring or guessing for the reader.

            Concerning the essays I wrote in general, I always acquired almost complete positive feedback from peers, but when I submitted the paper, I received negative feedback from my teacher. On the WrAP test that our class completed, I was informed that my support was inadequate. In other categories I did decently but my teacher informed me that my paper was probably not long enough for me to display my ideas as well as I could have. These assessments of my writing have shown me what needs to be done to improve.

            Proofreading my work after I complete it would be a valuable step to ameliorate my writing. I neglected to proofread in almost all of my essays, but I plan to initiate that starting with this paper. Feedback that I gave myself, combined with that of my teacher, included how my writing did not appear to be at the level it should. Although my writing was undeveloped I believe I interpreted the rhetorical situation accurately in all of the essays I completed. Another asset that I believe will help me in my writing is reading it as if I were the audience. This could assist in it being more appealing to that audience and therefore making it more effective.

            I will have to evaluate an efficient way to incorporate these boons into my essays in the future. Completing my essays timely should aid with that. Although we usually get sufficient time to complete our essays thoroughly, not everyone utilizes the time wisely. I fall into that category and am usually that person who does his essay the day before it is to be submitted, which is not a commendable habit.

            Never before have I had my writing assessed as thoroughly and complete as this year. It isn’t always a pleasant thought, but I am cognizant that it is to help me develop my writing to where I want and where it needs to be. I have had to write with much detail and precision this year which I know will allow for revised writing in the future. With much determination do I set out to accomplish these goals and use the knowledge of writing I have acquired from my teacher, peers, and others to advance successfully.

Common Errors List

     Errors that I made pretty frequently throughout the year include:

1. Awkward Phrases. Some of the sentences I wrote were not worded as best as they could be and therefore could be easily confused or misunderstood by the reader.

2. Long Sentences/Quotes. I've received comments on several sentences saying that they were too long and when I read them I agreed. If I had broken the long sentence into 2 sentence then it wouldn't be a problem.

3. Wrong context. In the research paper our class wrote, we were supposed to base almost all of our information on, well, research. We were allowed to input our opinion, but not too much. I for one did compute too much of what I thought into the paper rather than facts.

4. Conventions. I have misplaced words in some sentences such as having "this" where "the" should be. This was either a cause of me not noticing or just not knowing what the correct word was.

5. Word Choice. In just about all my essays, I received a disappointing grade in this category. In retrospect, I think this was just a cause of undeveloped writing and/or not enough words that displays the level I should be at.

6. Process Material Issues. On papers such as The literary analysis where we had extra materials that we were to turn in before the actual paper, there were problems such as me not turning them in on time or not doing them correctly.

Outside Reading

Outside Reading: 60 minutes - Human Legacy: Modern Era
30 minutes - Biology
45 minutes - Algebra

Last Class Before Easter Break

     The Friday before Easter Break was an exciting one, especially for most students in their last class. Some people got to leave early for carious reasons but for some of those of us who stuck it out it seemed as if the class was an hour glass with wet, non-moving quicksand. In our English class we were pretty focused even though I'm pretty sure in the back of our minds all the students were thinking, "All that stands between me and Easter Break is this class."

     We were all relived, excited, and happy to have a much wanted break. But now it is the Sunday before we go back to school, a day many students dread. We all have to re-adjust our minds and bodies into school-mode. We no longer get to sleep in late or go to the movies in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. But with only 3 weeks of school left as we go in, we should all still be pumped! I'll be looking forward to doing my best and getting through my first year of high school.

Song Analysis: "Umbrella" by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

     Umbrella is one of those songs that I'm sure many people in relationships can relate to. The song as a whole to me seems to say that when our relationship gets tough we will still be there for each other, and that's why so many people can relate to and like it. The first verse Jay-Z rapped was full of metaphors: "Let it rain, I hydroplane to fame" is one of the lines in the verse. Since hydroplaning is when a car spins out of control(usually because of the wet road from raining), the verse to me means that he spins into fame when the rain(possible people's insults, negative media) pours down.

     The chorus seems to mean that when the relationship is good, we are both happy. It also seems to give out the message that since I made a promise, I'll keep it. And that since the relationship is at the toughest point its been in, we really need to be here for each other. This song to me seems to be visual as well. When I singing it I imaging it raining with someone under an umbrella maybe gesturing for someone to come under it with them. The song of course has rhyme, rhythm, and repetition but many look into the deeper meaning of it.

The Analysis of Poems

     This quarter, we are moving into the unit of poetry. We have already begun to delve deep into them and analyze each important phrase methodically. Our first poem was called "The Fish." And, as the name suggests, it is about a fish. The poem is fairly long and has many contrasting features such as dark/light and white/black. We analyzed it alone but also as a class, and the poem has so many meanings.

     I think this will be a good quarter for me. Not that I'm a poem enthusiast, but I don't hate them. I hear a lot of people saying poems are like puzzles or they are a mystery for Sherlock Holmes. Personally, I don't usually find poems difficult to decipher. Most of them are interesting, but the poems that rhyme are the best in my opinion. I didn't really find the first poem we analyzed, "The Fish" interesting, but, to each his own. I guess I should start going to English class ready for poetry, in a poet state of mind.

Outside Reading: 30 minutes "The Fish" 30 minutes "Hanging Fire" 30 minutes "Turbulence" 20 minutes Human Legacy: Modern Era  40 minutes Biology

Poem Analysis: "Hanging Fire" by Audre Lorde

     The poem I chose to analyze, Hanging Fire, is separated into three stanzas and has 35 lines. The poem as a whole seems to be about a 14-year-old girl who is worried about dying early. In each stanza shes says something like "what if I die before" or "suppose I die before." As you read through the poem, she seems to be the average teenager girl: saying she has nothing to wear tomorrow, saying she doesn't like her skin (since she is a teenager, this phrase made me visualize acne on skin), and that she doesn't want to wear braces. This poem also has quite of few line breaks, and all of them are caesuras. This seems to emphasize the phrase right after the line break and makes a new possible way to interpret the poem.

     The poem has more repetition than just her worrying about dying early. The last 2 lines of each stanza say "and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed." This could mean many things, but one that struck me was perhaps her mom is never there for her like a mom should. The closed door could represent her not caring, and the repetition could mean that she never does. Throughout the poem, she complains a lot about things about herself or her life like "why do I have to be the one wearing braces." The way she says "the one" could mean that she has a sibling that doesn't have to have braces. Like most poems, this one seems like just some words until you try to figure out what it means, and find out it can be deep on varying levels.

The Hunger Games

     Recently there has been a lot of craze over the book, and brand new major motion picture, The Hunger Games. I have not read the book for myself, but I have heard from friends and acquaintances that the book is good. Many people have read the book and the movie appears to be equally popular. A lot of people who liked the book are going to see the movie. I have heard from people who have seen it that it is exactly like the book, but they still recommend you read first.

     The Hunger Games is not just a book, but a series. Yes, this New York Times best-selling series is amongst the most popular. Many of her fans agree that Suzanne Collins did a wonderful job. With the hoop and holler all over the book made into a movie, I'm almost positive that it will be #1 most seen in theaters currently. As for myself, I don't really have a direct interest in seeing the movie. I haven't read the book and I'm not clear on what it is about, so I'll stick to my action movies.

Outside Reading Response: Fade

     I have informed you that I am reading the Trilogy of Fade by Lisa McMann. Well, I am finished with it.
I am pleased to report that it was just as fantastic as the first, and I am looking forward to reading the last book in the series: Gone. I have noticed a pattern in the trilogy, however: all the books' titles are four letters each. While McMann, may or may not have done this on purpose, I think she did. It could be that she just wanted to, or maybe it is supposed to someone connect to the context (but I haven't seen the relation).

     I won't spoil anything just in case someone is interested in reading the book, but I will share a little more of what has happened in the plot. Janie and Cabel have a relationship like any other teens: drama. They have hit a few ups and downs recently and both went into a depressed state. After looking through Miss Stubin's (another catcher) files, Janie has found out the positive and negative aspects of being a catcher, and there are more bad than good. I guess I'll have to wait until I read Gone to find out if Janie will see it through.

150 minutes - Fade by Lisa McMann

Hard to Write About Anything

     So, here I am, writing about not being able to think of a topic to write about again. I remember when we used to all have to write 4 paragraphs on the reading response. I don't know if anyone liked doing it or not but I must say it seems a litter easier than what we do now.

     It's nice that we get the option to choose about whatever we want to, but you don't always have a topic in mind. At least we used to already know what to write about before. I guess this could potentially help out in the future though. And I'm not sure how many other people are having this problem but to show you how bad it is: this is my second time writing about not having a topic to write about.

Outside Reading Response: Fade

     I began reading Fade by Lisa McMann this week and again I must reiterate that it is such a great book. Recently in the book Janie Hannagin (the main character) has been learning more about her power as a "catcher" with Miss Stubin as her mentor. Janie has a job of using her power to be able to enter people's dreams to help the police. Miss Stubin was the former holder of this position and has died but helps Janie while she dreams.

     Some interesting new things have surfaced as well. Recently, Janie has lost vision and had to get glasses. Miss Stubin, when she died, was blind. I believe using her powers (going into people's dreams) has a side effect. My prediction is that if Janie continues to to this, her eyesight will continue to wane until she is blind, like Miss Stubin was. I also think that her secret boyfriend, Cabel, is thinking this as well based on some happenings in the plot. Well, the only way to find out is to read, and I will be doing so.

    

Outside Reading: Fade

     As some of you may remember, I finished reading Wake by Lisa McMann. On my second response to it, I mentioned how I finished and planned to read the rest of the trilogy. I kept true to my word and checked out Fade, the next book in the trilogy, as soon as I could. I will not mention any details of the book in this update because I haven't read a lot of it.

     I can tell you this, it is not like one of those instances where you read a the first book or watch the first movie in a series and say, "Wow that was good! I must look at the next book/movie in the series!" Lisa McMann does as wonderful a job in the Fade as she did in Wake. If you have read Wake, I urge you to read Fade. Although, if you read one, then you know for yourself what a wonderful job Ms. McMann has done with this trilogy. I look forward to finishing this book and moving on the read the last in the trilogy.

A Breath of Relief

     It's finally over. We are all done reading Nervous Conditions and we lived to tell the tale! We have been through ten long chapters of a very thought provoking, complex book. It seems like we have a project to do every week but we are all doing seemingly well.

     On another note, we got through our third quarter of high school! I don't about anyone else but this was definitely not  my best (grade-wise). So hopefully we can move into our fourth quarter excited, ready to learn, and attempting to make up for out faults from third quarter! Let's all try to come back strong and finish Freshman year. Good luck everyone!

Outside Reading:

150 minutes Fade, by Lisa Mcmann

You Want What You Can't Have

     As the saying goes "You're only young once." This phrase can be defined in many ways, but the ones that most vibrantly come to mind are "do all you want while you can" and "live life to the fullest." It is hard to imagine since we are so young that when we get older we won't be able to do some of the many things that we love now. But that's the way it is. Everyone has their time.

     Isn't it something how people are never satisfied no matter what? The get the exact thing they want but next week they want something new. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Our never-satisfied attitude is what prompted/prompts us to improve civilization with things such as technology. However, this attitude is also what drives greed, lust, and killing. When you're young, you can't wait to be older. But when you get older, you would do anything to have your youth back. I wonder if one day, this attitude will only drive us to the optimistic actions.

150 minutes - Research Paper

Biggest Event of the Year

     Did you guess what I'm talking about from the title? That's right. The Super bowl! There was a lot of money lost and gained yesterday as soon as Aaron Hernandez missed his catch. Whether the Patriots win or lost was all up to if he made the catch or not. Eli Manning got a well-deserved MVP award and won his second Super bowl in four years.

     Frankly, I'm glad the overrated New England Patriots lost. Don't get me wrong, I recognize them as a good team, one of the best in the league, but still, I think the Giants were the better team there. Besides, to me the New Orleans Saints is still the #1 football team in the NFL! I was going for the Giants not just because Eli deserved to beat Brady, not because Brady is overrated, but because my logic was this: 49ers beat Saints (BY LUCK), then the giants beat the 49ers who beat the Saints (best team) and went on to beat the undefeated Packers was definitely gonna beat Tom Brady and the Patriots. I was right, and Tom got taken down a peg or two.

Outside Reading Response: Wake

     Well, I finished with the book Wake by Lisa McMann and it was definitely one of the best books I've ever read. Just to feel in any interested classmates on some details about the book, the ending was kind of a cliff-hanger. Janie, the main character, works at a nursing home (that place old people go when they get old and sick). As you may have read in one of my previous posts, she gets sucked into people's dreams while she is awake, so she might not have the best job for her "problem".

     However, after on of her patients died (her favorite), she found out that they had a connection beyond most other people. The woman that dies was a "catcher". As you may have put clues together, Janie is also a catcher. A catcher is a person who is pulled into someone's dream to help them in some way. However, for them to be helped in the dream, the must ask the catcher for help themselves. Janie is figuring out how to control her power better and now tries to get sucked into people's dreams just to practice. I guess all that's next is for me to read the next book in the trilogy: Fade.

 Outside Reading:

Wake by Lisa Mcmann -150 minutes Tuesday

Writer's Block

     I don't know how often this happens to anyone else, but sometimes my mind just shuts down. One minute I'm flowing with good ideas and I even know what the next paragraph will say; the next I don't know what the next word will be. Sometimes it is much easier to write about a preset topic or things.

     I'm not complaining about the freedom of being able to write one post about anything, but when our class had to write two responses on outside reading, you at least knew what you were going to write about. There's also the fact that 150 minutes of reading something usually gives you plenty information to write four paragraphs worth of response. Sometimes you just need to calm down, think for a minute, and let your mind go to work.

Generational Changes

     As life goes on and time goes by, technology advances more and more. To some it may seem as if right when you buy the latest thing, the new updated version of it is out the next day. Thje purpose of technology may be to relieve stress or to make our lives easier, and in many cases, it does. However, with more and more technology taking place of things we previously had to manually do, less people to it the "old-fashioned" way.

     Things such as microwaves, drive-thrus, and cell phones have limited the face-to-face activities that used to occur on a daily basis. Things like Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter have changed the playground, which used to be a swing set and a backyard, to the computer. Of course, the majority of the population does this but it is good to still have those moments where family's can sit together at a table, watch a movie together, play some games together, or maybe go out to eat or activities such as bowling together. In the end, sometimes old-school traits are just much better than new-generation things.

Global Issue Analysis Paper Work:

30 minutes - Outline
90 minutes - Detailed Outline
30 minutes - Thesis

High School Blues

     It's funny how all high school students have a few things in common. There are so many of us that loathe school and every Monday, it's a heavy sigh, and every Friday, its a thought of T.G.I.F. The majority of students are just waiting for the weekend to come back every time a new school week begins.

     While all students realize that they are at school to learn and they are shaping their future, and sure you may even enjoy school. But there is just something about it that makes a student not want to be there. In the end, our goal is summer break, its like a heaven on Earth for high schoolers. What keeps us motivated to stay in is what we need to continually think about as we are just going through the motions. This is your life you're paving the way for! What we do here determines what we will be doing in the future. With that in mind, maybe we can hate school a little less, and do our best a little better.

Outside Reading Response: Wake

     Only positive things to say about the book so far. It gets more and more interesting. I would recommend this book to anyone, unless you are offended by anything intimate. To summarize, its PG-13. Janie Hannagan has not been having much better luck in controlling her dreams. She finally had her first one that was her own dream. Imagine that. The first dream that was yours and you're already a senior in high school.

     As a senior in high school, Lisa McMann reveals some of Janie's teenage qualities. Whats unfortunate for her is that these dreams can come from anyone who is sleeping, whether shes awake or not. Of course, to her luck, this has happened at school, at her job, where she was paralyzed by the dream and co-workers thought she was having a seizure. It gets worse for Janie but something tell me she'll find a way to get through this predicament.

Outside Reading: Wake by Lisa McMann, 1/22/12 150 minutes

School

     So we basically just had a 3-day weekend and hey, we got to skip a Monday! I hope everyone did something in memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. They had many events going on and swarms of community service projects around the city. Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean you should just treat it as a day off. Do something for the good of someone else.

     I hope everyone quickly gets back into the school mindset. We should all know that our teachers think of it also as an extra day to study and revise your worth ethic, rethink study habits, etc. So, whether we are trying to reach standards are not, prepare, because it was only a day off! Now we're right back in school. We have a 4-day school week ahead, and we need to make it through!

Outside Reading Response: Wake

     So I've just begun reading a book called Wake by Lisa McMann. It's part of a trilogy and it's pretty good. A small summary of what I've grasped from the book is that there is a girl named Janie Hannagan and shes been able to go into people's dreams since she was eight. She doesn't do it on purpose. In fact, if it were up to her, she wouldn't do it at all. She can't control her "gift".

     The thing is, she doesn't even have to be sleep to see someone's dream. She could be trying to do some math homework, but if someone falls asleep, she may go into the dream. Janie has figured out a way to prevent joining the dream. She just tries to get away from the person having the dream and the connection is broken. My guess is she'll be doing this until she figures out some way to control it. But still, this paves the way for an interesting plot.

Outside Reading- Wake by Lisa McMann

150 minutes on 1/14/12

New Year, New Goals, New Experiences!

          Hi Everyone! It's a new year and there's so many things to do! At the start of the new year, many people generally have resolutions such as losing weight, discontinuing eating a particular kind of food, or maybe just improving themselves. As people, everyone has something that they can improve about themselves.We should not only be trying to improve at the start of the year, but throughout, and continue doing so as best as possible.

          Everything that has happened in 2011 is behind us, whether it be good times or bad memories. This new year is a new time to do more things we want to do, new goals to set and reach, and new friends to make and create even more and wonderful memories! Lets all do our best at everything! A new year awaits.